Why It’s More Common Than You Think

Buying your first home is supposed to be the big moment – the one you’ve been working and saving for. You get the keys, take a deep breath and imagine how great it will be to finally live in a place that’s yours. But for a lot of people, that feeling doesn’t arrive straight away. Instead, what creeps in is regret.

A post on r/HousingUK summed this up perfectly. The buyer had been in the UK for over ten years, worked hard, saved carefully and finally managed to secure a Victorian house after months of rejected offers. They knew it would have quirks – the place was built in 1900 – and had already budgeted for damp issues. But once the deal was done, reality hit hard. A £7,000 damp quote, bare walls showing every mark, and the house suddenly looking far worse without furniture left them feeling like they’d made a huge mistake.

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Why it happens

Plenty of people in the thread said they’d been through the same. It’s easy to forget that when you walk through a house during a viewing, you’re looking at someone else’s version of it – their furniture, their paint, their choices. Strip all that away and the flaws jump out. Add in the pressure of spending what’s likely the most money you’ll ever spend, and it’s no surprise people feel overwhelmed.

One commenter admitted their first night in a new home was so unsettling that they went back to their old flat the next day. Another said the only thing that helped was getting a tin of paint out and making one wall feel like theirs straight away.

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Damp, surveys and what’s really going on

Damp was the biggest worry for the original poster, but others were quick to say that big quotes from “damp specialists” often don’t tell the full story. Victorian houses were built differently – they need to breathe – and modern fixes can make things worse.

The advice from experienced owners was to start small. Check gutters, air bricks and rooflines. Look at whether soil or paving has been built up too high against the walls. Sometimes the issue is as simple as a blocked drainpipe or poor ventilation. A few people said they had been quoted thousands for work, only to sort it themselves for a few hundred.

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Making a new place feel like home

What came through strongly was that the regret does ease. It might take a few weeks or even months, but most people said that once they had moved their things in, decorated a bit and lived in the space, they started to feel proud rather than panicked.

Practical tips included:

• Doing one “for me” project alongside one “for the house” job, to balance repairs with something enjoyable
• Buying a dehumidifier or updating extractor fans to quickly improve air quality
• Joining online groups for owners of older homes to get advice that isn’t trying to sell you a product
• Remembering that paying a mortgage means building equity, unlike rent which only ever goes up

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The bigger picture

It’s easy to get caught up in the fear that you’ve made the wrong choice, but most people look back and realise they were just overwhelmed at the start. In time, what feels like a burden turns into something you’re proud to have achieved.

One person put it well: “Every decorating job, every piece of furniture, every meal made it feel more like mine. Within a few months you couldn’t have dragged me out of this house. It’s mine and I love it.”

So if you’re sitting in an empty living room wondering what you’ve done, know this – you’re not alone, and it really does get better.